Het toppunt van....

Jossi

Nismo
Het toppunt van....

Automatisering:
Een stewardess die zwanger raakt van de automatische piloot.

Babycriminaliteit:
Joyrijden op een driewieler!

Behendigheid:
Een dubbele knoop in een lul leggen met bokshandschoenen aan.

Bejaardenseks:
Gebreide condooms.

Bewapening:
Een lul met een kernkop!

Binnenpretje:
Jeukpoeder in je tampon!

Brutaliteit:
Een man met één been een step geven.

Burenruzie:
De hond van de buren doodschieten en ze vervolgens opbellen of ze die rotzooi van de straat willen halen.

Dankbaarheid:
Een clitoris die teruglikt.

Discriminatie:
De plantjes water geven en de afrikaantjes vergeten.

Domheid:
Een blonde Belg.

Droogte:
Klaarkomen in poedervorm.


Evenwicht:
Neuken op de waslijn.

Feminisme:
Stijve kut.

Fruit:
Een banaan in je pruim peren.

Geduld:
Een vis proberen te verdrinken.
Op de kop tegen de muur gaan staan en wachten tot je sokken afzakken.
Een olifant met watten proberen dood te gooien en vervolgens met een lepeltje begraven.

Gemengde gevoelens:
Je schoonmoeder in je nieuwe BMW in een ravijn zien rijden!


Glibberigheid:
Een paling in een emmer snot.

Hardheid:
Bij een weeshuis aanbellen en vragen: "Is je moeder ook thuis?"

Herfst:
's Morgens wakker worden met je eikel naast je bed.

Impotentie:
Rood staan bij de spermabank.

Incest:
Aan je vaders lul proeven dat je zus ongesteld is.

Kinderpornografie:
Een vibrator van LEGO.

Kortheid:
Met een stijve tegen een muur oplopen en dan nog je neus breken.

Kracht:
Met een slappe lul een schuifraam open schuiven!

Uithoudingsvermogen:
Als het raam dicht valt, het nog een keer proberen!

Lawaai:
Twee neukende skeletten in een zinken dakgoot!

Lef:
In de laarzen van een politieagent schijten en vragen waar het wc-papier hangt.
Een spookrijder inhalen.
Tapdansen op een mijnenveld.

Lenigheid:
Je ene been op de Dom, je andere op de Eiffeltoren en dan je kloten wassen in het Tjeukermeer.

Matigheid:
Met een vrachtwagen vol brood door Somalië rijden en de eendjes brood geven.

Mechanica:
Een verticale beweging omzetten in een vloeistof.

Netheid:
Met mes en vork uit je neus eten.
Het condoom afstoffen voordat je het omdoet.

Niets doen:
Een doos met een spinnenweb.

Nieuwsgierigheid:
Door het sleutelgat van een glazen deur kijken.

Ongeluk:
Een blinde met een visueel geheugen.

Optimisme:
Een Belg met een studiebeurs.
Wachten totdat een Nederlander gaat trakteren...

Pedofilie:
Iemand die bij de abortuskliniek de vuilnisbakken naloopt om te kijken of er nog wat te neuken valt.

Plas en poep sex:
Diarree gorgelen.
Een drol pijpen.

Recycling:
Een Duitser die varkensvlees eet.
Rodeoseks:
Bij je vriendin op haar rug klimmen, zeggen dat je vreemd bent gegaan en dan zo lang mogelijk blijven zitten.

Sadisme:
Een pistool geven aan een blinde en zeggen dat het een haardroger is.
Een schietstoel in een helicopter.
Een blinde een knal voor zijn kop geven en zeggen: "Die zag je niet aankomen hè?"
Een blinde punaises aanbieden en zeggen dat het contactlenzen zijn.
Een man met één been een schop geven en zeggen: "Daar heb je niet van terug hè?"
Vermageringspillen naar de derde wereld sturen.
Een dove een klap geven en zeggen: "Wie niet horen wil, moet maar voelen!"

Seksueel negeren:
Een opblaaspop met hoofdpijn.

Seksuele oververmoeidheid:
Wallen onder je ballen.


SM:
De zweep aan de muur bevestigen en daarna je vrouw er tegen aan smijten!

Snelheid:
Om de tafel rennen en dan iets op je eigen rug schrijven.
Met zijn tweeën in bed kruipen en er met zijn drieën weer uit komen.


Stiekem:
Je laten castreren en dat pas tegen je vrouw zeggen als ze zwanger is!

Veilig vrijen:
Een doos met pincode.

Vertrouwen:
Je laten pijpen door een kannibaal.

Vreemdgaan:
Met het goede been uit het verkeerde bed stappen.

Wildwest:
Een kut met klapdeuren.
Een dubbelloops lul.

Wiskunde:
Jezelf netzolang aftrekken totdat je er een breuk van krijgt.
Je wortel trekken.

Zelfvertrouwen:
Een scheet laten als je aan de diarree bent
 
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Hahahaha :D

Damn was wel ff lang bezig met lezen..

Deze vind ik t leukst:

Sadisme:
Een pistool geven aan een blinde en zeggen dat het een haardroger is.
Een schietstoel in een helicopter.
Een blinde een knal voor zijn kop geven en zeggen: "Die zag je niet aankomen hè?"
Een blinde punaises aanbieden en zeggen dat het contactlenzen zijn.
Een man met één been een schop geven en zeggen: "Daar heb je niet van terug hè?"
Vermageringspillen naar de derde wereld sturen.
Een dove een klap geven en zeggen: "Wie niet horen wil, moet maar voelen!"
 
toppunt van sadisme: Ouderavond in een weeshuis:p
Wat is een dom blondje op een waterbed?
Een booreiland
Waarom heeft een dom blondje een lege fles in de frigo staan?
Voor als er bezoek is die niets willen drinken
Dom blondje gaat een café binnen en vraagt aan de ober "Waar is het toilet?""sorry maar het is verstopt"zegt de ober.
"Niet erg" zegt het dom blondje "Ik zoek het wel"8P
 
Te gek man somige hard en af en toe een beetje te dom maar voor de rest wel droog en melig (ik las ze toen ik stoned was met me vrienden we hebben een uur gelaggen hehehe)
 
Originally posted by j0sSi


Domheid:
Een blonde Belg.


bedoel je niet een blonde nederlander want dat klopt echt wel niet

ow je hebt gelijk een domme nederlander is geen toppunt maar een algemene waarheid :p :p :W
 
Re: Re: Het toppunt van....

Originally posted by Dj_promo


bedoel je niet een blonde nederlander want dat klopt echt wel niet

ow je hebt gelijk een domme nederlander is geen toppunt maar een algemene waarheid :p :p :W

Echt wel niet ? :p

Connectie algemene waarheid en toppunt = ? 8P
 
Wat is het verschil tussen een crossmotor en een blondje?


Niet iedereen heeft op een crossmotor gereden
 
Je moeder

OK, hier komt Yo momma.

Yo momma's so big, her belly button's got an echo.

Yo momma's so big, they had to paint a stripe down her back to see if she was walking or rolling.

Yo momma's so big, she rollerskates on busses.

Yo momma's so big, she can't wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back.

Yo momma's so big, she uses the interstate for a Slip `n Slide.

Yo momma's so big, when you climb on top of her your ears pop.

Yo momma's so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers.

Yo momma's so big, she whistles bass.Yo momma's so big, she uses bowling balls for earrings.

Yo momma's so big, that they had to change "One size fit's all" to "One size fits most"

Yo momma's so big, when she went to the airport and said she wanted to fly they stamped Goodyear on her and sent her out to the runway.

Yo momma's so big, when I fingered her I lost a watch and two rings!

Yo momma's so big, when she goes in the water at the beach she changes the tide.

Yo momma's so big, when she stands up the sun goes out.

Yo momma's like a door knob, everybody gets a turn.

Yo momma's like Dominoes Pizza, something for nothing.

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Yo momma's like Pizza Hut, if she isn't there in 30 minutes... it's free.

Yo momma's like Sprint, 10 cents a minute anywhere in the country.

Yo momma's like a carpenter's dream, flat as a board and easy to nail.

Yo momma's like a gas station... you gotta pay before you pump.

Yo momma's like a goalie: she changes her pads after three periods.

Yo momma's like a light switch, even a little kid can turn her on.

Yo momma's like a telephone, even a 3 year old can pick her up.

Yo momma's like a postage stamp, you lick her, stick her, then send her away.

Yo momma's like a dollar bill, she gets handled all across the country.

Yo momma's like a brick, dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.

Yo momma's like a race car driver, she burns a lot of rubbers.

Yo momma's like a railroad track, she gets laid all over the country.

Yo momma's like a screen door, after a couple of bangs she loosens up.

Yo momma's like a shotgun, one cock and she blows.

Yo momma's like a hockey player, she only showers after three periods.

Yo momma's like a Toyota, "OOooh what a feeling!"

Yo momma's like a TV, even a 2 year old could turn her on.

Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner... a real good suck.

Yo momma's like a vacuum cleaner... she sucks, blows, and then gets laid in the closet.

Yo momma's like an ice cream cone... everyone gets a lick.

Yo momma's like a 5 foot tall basketball hoop, it ain't that hard to score.

Yo momma's like the Panama Canal, vessels full of seamen pass through her everyday.

Yo momma's like a refridgerator, everyone puts their meat in her.

Yo momma's like cake mix, 15 servings per package!

Yo momma's like an elevator, guys go up and down on her all day.

Yo momma's like a window, always open.

Yo momma's like Denny's... open 24 hours.

Yo momma's like McDonalds... Billions and Billions served.

Yo momma's like McDonalds... over 5 billion served world wide.

Yo momma's like McDonalds... What you want is what you get.

Yo momma's like mustard, she spreads easy.

Yo momma's like the Pillsbury dough boy - everybody pokes her.

Yo momma's like lettuce, 25 cents a head.

Yo momma's like a hardware store, 25 cents a screw.

Yo momma's like a birthday cake, everybody gets a piece.

Yo momma's like Burger King... Your way, right away.

Yo momma's like a squirrel, she's always got some nuts in her mouth.

Yo momma's like 7-Eleven... open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cents you can get a slurpy.

Yo momma's like Humpty Dumpty... first she gets humped, then she gets dumped.

Yo momma's like the Bermuda Triangle, they both swallow a lot of seamen.

Yo momma's like a nickel, she ain't worth a dime.

Yo momma's like a fine restaurant, she only takes deliveries in the rear.

Yo momma's like a chicken coop, cocks fly in and out all day.

Yo momma's like a streetlamp, you can find her turned on at night on any street corner.

Yo momma's like a telephone booth, open to the public, costs a quarter, and guys go in and out all day.

Yo momma's like a library, open to the public.

Yo momma's like a Chinese restaurant, $4.95 all you can eat.

Yo momma's like an ATM, open 24 hours.

Yo momma's like Discover card, she gives cash back.

Yo momma's like a basketball hoop, everybody gets a shot.

Yo momma's like a microwave, one button and she's hot.

Yo momma's like speakers, loud, ugly, lives in a box, and you can turn her up, down, on, and off.

Yo momma's like a mail box, open day and night.

Yo momma's like a bag of potato chips, "Free-To-Lay."

Yo momma's like a turtle, once she's on her back she's fucked.

Yo momma's like a championship ring, everybody puts a finger in her.

Yo momma's like a paper towel, she picks up all kinds of slimy wet stuff.

Yo momma's like a bowling ball... round, heavy, and you can fit three fingers in.

Yo momma's like a bowling ball, she always winds up in the gutter.

Yo momma's like a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, thrown down the gutter, and she still l comes back for more.

Yo momma's like cheap liquor, tastes like shit.

Yo momma's like a bus, guys climb on and off her all day long.

Yo momma's like a bubble gum machine, 5 cents a blow.

Yo momma's like Bazooka Joe, 5 cents a blow.

Yo momma's like a Christmas tree, everybody hangs balls on her.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes Free Willy look like a tic tac

Yo momma's so fat, when we played hide and seek I spotted her behind the Himalayas

Yo momma's so fat, when she walked in front of the TV I missed 3 commercials

Yo momma's so fat, the whale from Free Willy freed her

Yo momma's so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says one at a time please

Yo momma's so fat, when she steps on the scale it says sorry we don't do livestock

Yo momma's so fat, when she bends over we miss 2 days of sunlight

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she gets and estimate

Yo momma's so fat, at a restaurant when they give her the menu she replies " yes Please"

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to the beach Greenpeace tried to drag her back in the water.

Yo momma's so fat, when she went to get a water bed, they put a blanket across Lake Michigan.

Yo momma's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

Yo momma's so fat, and you're so poor, when she comes in your house the tires pop.

Yo momma's so fat, she don't know whether she's walking or rolling.

Yo momma's so fat, when she tiptoes, everyone yells "Stampede!"

Yo momma's so fat, when she farts the whole planet came out.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes sumo wrestlers look anorexic.

Yo momma's so fat, her car is made of spandex.

Yo momma's so fat, we're inside her right now.

Yo momma's so fat, she makes Big Bird look like a rubber duck.

Yo momma's so fat, one day when she got in a fight the person fighting her got lost in her.

Yo momma's so fat, when she wore a shirt with an AA on it, people thought it was American Airlines biggest jet.

Yo momma's so fat, if she were an aeroplane, she'd be a jumbo jet.

Yo momma's so fat, one day she was lifting up her rolls and a car fell out.

Yo momma's so fat, Dr. Martens had to kill 3 cows just to make her a pair of shoes.

Yo momma's so fat, when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo momma's so fat, she can't stay on a basketball court for three seconds without getting called for a key violation.

Yo mama so fat that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step.

Yo momma's so fat, all the chairs in her house have seatbelts.

Yo momma's so fat, she smells like bacon at 90 degrees.

Yo momma's so fat, I had to take a train and two busses just to get on her good side.

Yo momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips.

Yo momma's so fat, when she hauls ass, she has friends come help.

Yo mama' so fat, she's 36-24-36... but that's her forearm, neck, and thigh!

Yo momma's so fat, they had to grease a door frame and hold a Twinkie on the other side to get her through.

Yo momma's so fat, she can lay down and stand up and her height doesn't change.

Yo momma's so fat, when she dances, she makes the band skip.

Yo momma's so fat, the horse on her Polo shirt is real.

Yo momma's so fat, when she works at the movie theatre, she works as the screen.

Yo momma's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

Yo momma's so fat, her belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine.

Yo momma's so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say:

"Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama"

Yo momma's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

Yo momma's so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi's 1002's.

Yo momma's so fat, instead of wide leg jeans, she wears wide load.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.

Yo momma's so fat, all of her clothes have to be custom made by a contractor.

Yo momma's so fat, when I said I wanted "Pigs in a blanket" she got back in bed.

Yo momma's so fat, when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease, the doctor gave her 5 years to live.

Yo momma's so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

Yo momma's so fat, she's got smaller fat women orbiting around her.

Yo momma's so fat, a picture of her fell off the wall!

Yo momma's so fat, her picture takes two frames.

Yo momma's so fat, when I yell "Kool-Aid," she comes crashing through the wall.

Yo momma's so fat, she could sell shade.

Yo momma's so fat, her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.

Yo momma's so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.

Yo momma's so fat, she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Yo momma's so hairy, she has afros on her nipples.

Yo momma's so hairy, you almost died of rug burn at birth.

Yo momma's so hairy, she's a stunt double for Chubaca in Star Wars.

Yo momma's so hairy, her breasts look like coconuts.

Yo momma's so hairy, she shaves with a weedwacker.

Yo momma's so hairy, she got a trim and lost 10 pounds.

Yo momma's so hairy, if I shaved her legs, I could supply wigs for the entire Hair Club for Men.

Yo momma's so hairy, she spread her legs and said, "We're going to Busch Gardens."

Yo momma's chest hair is so long, its growing all the way down to her dick.

Yo momma's so hairy, she shaved her ass and she disappeared.

Yo momma's so old, the candles cost more than the birthday cake.

Yo momma's so old, she farts out mummy dust.

Yo momma's so old, she squirts powdered milk out her nipples.

Yo momma's so old, she sat next to Jesus in third grade.

Yo momma's so old, she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo momma's so old & ugly, her name is Ape.

Yo momma's so old, when she was young rainbows were black and white.

Yo momma's so old and fat that when God said "Let there be Light", he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.

Yo momma's so old, she watches PBS.

Yo momma's so old, she used to baby-sit Jesus.

Yo momma's so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.

Yo momma's so old, I told her to act her age and the bitch died.

Yo momma's so old, she owes Fred Flintstone a food stamp.

Yo momma's so old, she drove a chariot to high school.

Yo momma's so old, she's got hieroglyphics on her driver's license.

Yo momma's so old, she took her drivers test on a dinosaur.

Yo momma's so old, the key on Ben Franklin's kite was to her apartment.

Yo momma's so old, she has all the apostles in her black book.

Yo momma's so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Yo momma's so old, Jurassic Park brought back memories.

Yo momma's so old, her memory is in black and white.

Yo momma's so old, she has a Jesus Starter jacket.

Yo momma's so old, she used to baby-sit Yoda.

Yo momma's so old, she baby-sat for Jesus.

Yo momma's so old, her social security number is 1.

Yo momma's so old, her birth-certificate expired.

Yo momma's so old, she ran track with dinosaurs.

Yo momma's so old, she has a picture of Jesus in her yearbook.

Yo momma's so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.

Yo momma's so old, she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo momma's so old, she knew the Beetles when they were the New Kids on the Block.

Yo momma's so old, she owes Jesus a nickel.

Yo momma's so old, she owes Moses a quarter.

Yo momma's so old, she's got Jesus' beeper number.

Yo momma's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.

Yo momma's so old, when god said "let there be light" she was there to flick the switch.

Yo momma's so old, when Moses split the red sea, she was on the other side fishing.

Yo momma's so old, when she reads the bible she reminisces.

Yo momma's so old, she planted the first tree at Central Park.

Yo momma's so old, her birthday expired.

Yo momma's so old, she has Adam & Eve's autographs.

Yo momma's so old, she co-wrote the ten commandments.

Yo momma's so old, she has an autographed bible.

Yo momma's so nasty, she only changes her drawers once every 10000 miles.

Yo momma's so nasty, she went to a hair salon and told the stylist to cut her hair, then she opened up her blouse!!

Yo momma's so nasty, she puts ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh.

Yo momma's so nasty, she has more crabs then Red Lobster.

Yo momma's so nasty, she breeds crabs.

Yo momma's so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a bungee cord.

Yo momma's so nasty, when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama jumped up on the table, spread her legs, and said "crabs!"

Yo momma's so nasty, when I went to yo house said whats for dinner, yo mama put her foot up on the table and said "Corn!"

Yo momma's so nasty, she's got more clap than an auditorium.

Yo momma's so nasty, she has a sign by her pussy that says: "Warning: May cause irritation, drowsiness, and a rash or breakouts."

Yo momma's so nasty, they call her Norelco... Home of the triple head.

Yo momma's so nasty, she made Speed Stick slow down.

Yo momma's so nasty, she made Right Guard turn left.

Yo momma's so nasty, she went swimming and made the Dead Sea.

Yo momma's so nasty, her tits give sour milk.

Yo momma's so nasty, she bought her boyfriend kneepads for christmas.

Yo momma's so nasty, she had sex with a woman and got pregnant.

Yo momma's so nasty, I called her up for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection.

Yo momma's so nasty, I talked to her over the computer and she gave me a virus.

Yo momma's so nasty, a skunk smelled her ass and passed out.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Trak Auto is where you get hair weaves for your car.

Yo momma's so stupid, she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got shot running the border after seeing a Taco Bell commercial.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is where you pay your telephone bill.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

Yo momma's so stupid, she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

Yo momma's so stupid, she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got on her knees to drink her "Nehi" peach drink.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Thiland was a men's clothing store.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo momma's so stupid, when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo momma's so stupid, she needed a tutor to learn how to scribble.

Yo momma's so stupid, she ordered her sushi well done.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought hamburger helper came with another person.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought meow mix was a record for cats.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.

Yo momma's so stupid, she invented a solar powered flashlight.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought the board of education was a piece of wood.

Yo momma's so stupid, she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

Yo momma's so stupid, she sold the car for gas money.

Yo momma's so stupid, she ran out of gas leaving Texaco.

Yo momma's so stupid, she sold the house to pay the mortgage.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

Yo momma's so stupid, she went to a Clippers game to get a hair cut.

Yo momma's so stupid, she went to a Whalers game to see Shamu.

Yo momma's so stupid, when she saw a "Wrong Way" sign in her rearview mirror, she turned around.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thought asphalt was a skin disease.Yo momma's so stupid, she thought Delt a Airlines was a sorority.

Yo momma's so stupid, when she saw the "NC-17 (Under 17 Not Admitted)" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo momma's so stupid, when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon.

Yo momma's so stupid, she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

Yo momma's so stupid, she gave your uncle a blowjob 'cause he said it'd help his unemployment.

Yo momma's so stupid, when she heard 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got fired from a blow-job.

Yo momma's so stupid, I saw her in the frozen food section with a fishing rod.

Yo momma's so stupid, I taught her how to do the running man and I haven't seen the bitch since.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks a sanitary belt is drinking a shot out of a clean glass.

Yo momma's so stupid, when someone said "Take the trash out," she moved.

Yo momma's so stupid, she used a vibrator for an egg beater.

Yo momma's so stupid, she wiped her ass before she took a shit.

Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks a 17 inch Admiral is a well hung sailor.

Yo momma's so stupid, she wemt to Dr. Dre for a pap smear.

Yo momma's so stupid, she asked you "What is the number for 911".

Yo momma's so stupid, she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Dogg's holiday album.

Yo momma's so stupid, she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.

Yo momma's so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals."

Yo momma's so ugly she looked out the window and got arrested for mooning.

Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it."

Yo momma's so ugly they push her face into dough to make cookies.

Yo momma's so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower

Yo momma's so ugly they didn't give her a costume when she tried out for Star Wars.

Yo momma's so ugly instead of putting the bungee cord around her ankle, they put it around her neck

Yo momma's so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween.

Yo momma's so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras

Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her

Yo momma's so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo momma's so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?"

Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday.

Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were bricks she'd have her own projects.

Yo momma's so ugly she made an onion cry.

Yo momma's so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours. . .for a quote!

Yo momma's so ugly she tried to take a bath the water jumped out!

Yo momma's so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her!

Yo momma's so ugly Ted Dansen wouldn't date her!

Yo momma's so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone!

Yo momma's so ugly she turned Medusa to stone!

Yo momma's so ugly the NHL banned her for life

Yo momma's so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints

Yo momma's so ugly people go as her for Halloween.

Yo momma's so ugly that when she sits in the sand on the beach, cats try to bury her.

Yo momma's so ugly she scares the roaches away.

Yo momma's so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Yo momma's so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.
 
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